Madam Kitty


*****



To My Love,on the Eve of Her Wedding

I glance at the path of my life
And wonder why she wasn't there.
Though she is different from myself,
In her,I see
the purest form
of Life and Light
set beauteously in her eyes.
Stealth and power are not
her weapons;
she is wisdome,courage,and grace.
My lady is perfection alive;
A wonder of the universe,
Mother Nature herself!
Yet,she cannot be mine;
she promised her hand to another,
so I remain,repose,to pine forever.
The future is as black as
the deep sea of my heart,
but I know my love for her is infinite.
If I cannot stand by as her Lord,
I may stand beside her as a friend.


*****


Aspects of a Shadow

The measure of a man
is found in the depth of his Shadow:
the invisible enemy
within his soul...
the jaded twin
joined by name,
only to be awoken
in sleep
though remains
silent
in daylight.
The trusted co-conspirator
who fights the darkness,
but welcomes
the fleeting words
of bitterness and anarchy
and turns all colors to gray
amid the endless battle
of fight and flight.
I say to the man
'do not hear them-
they do not hold thee!'
He laughs
and turns his back to me.


*****


Hungry

Why did you leave me
so hungry for your touch?
Why does my body
crave the warmth of yours,
while we're away from
each other?
Tell me of the many nights
spent remembering
your loving gaze,
your hands caressing my skin....
those hands which lifted me
to the heavens
which no other man
has accomplished!
Yet,alone,I can still feel
the tremors we made...
the fever you brought out in me
and I still yearn for
you more as the days go by.
Why did you leave me
so hungry for your touch?


*****


Soul Mate

No other man
exists in this world,
save my Love.
A gentle and brave warrior,
he is more to me
than he knows.
He is the healing balm
upon my heart,
making old wounds fade.
His every word
upon my mind
a soft,whispering caress
whose fingers
remove the chill from my soul
and warm it.
I long to feel his breath,
touch his lips,
and taste the
wine of his life.


*****


Autumn Apple

It is sunny
as I inhale this
Shennadoah feeling
that floats amongst
the wind and the leaves
in this Virginia autumn.
Held in the delicate glass,
the amber fluid waits patiently-
as it did while it ripened on the tree-
to be enjoyed by all,including me,
and its divine taste
that in this perfect moment
this sunny day
this warm breeze
this glass of apple juice
is mine to cherish
and to be remembered
when I last held the site
of apple trees in Culpepper.


*****


My Mountain

If a word is a grain of sand
and a sentence is a small pebble,
it seem to me I must be careful-
through the passage of time,
I have created
the perfection and destruction
that is my mountain.
All of my quips and backword qoutes
are carried in my bag.
With each step,I am delighted and disgraced
with my load of wonders.
Each with meaning and glory
of its own power-
the depth of mystery they convey.
The many as the whole,
the whole as the one,
and still,I carry
my mountain in my knapsack.


*****


The Term of Irony

What is it like
to have a sunny day-
and feel like you don't
deserve it?
Can anyone describe
how they feel like
on their birthday,
and want it to go away?
The rich long to be poor.
The poor long to be rich.
Yet those with no power
have all and nothing.
Those with power
pretend to have all,
but have nothing.
If the differences of all
were anymore parallel to the term
irony,
the world would never cease from its weeping.


*****


Reflections at Sunset

It's over.
It's all over,yet it's just begun.
Having gone past the barrier,
the world closes her eye slowly
to her gentle slumber,
but I'm not tired.
My limbs feel heavy with exhaustion.
My mind weary with thought,
but my heart flutters in my chest.
After all this time,I found her.
If my life is a circle
make the path of my life gold-
for she is the diamond.
The star in my night.
The embrace that heals my heart's wounds.
The laughter that flitters in my ears.
as I catch her in my arms,to graze her lips with
mine.
I watch her sleeping form
and feel the currents of my heart
still at battle.
All I've given up,sacrificed
so the future will be there for our children.
I couldn't ask for more
than these moments with my love
but I do,every time I remember
the kindness of my friends.
*****


*****
Breaking Illusions

Pound down the walls-
pound them down
till nothing remains of my hands
but bloody stubs;
I feel no pain.
My fingers are stairs
on which I climb to conquer
these brick-effaced lies
that hides those who defile life-
the beauty within
covered by an ugly mask of unkindness.
How I long to rip my eyes
to preserve the image of purity.
It must live!
Lies don't stand well on their own.
The message is truth
and I am the messenager.
The brick of reality
has been thrown.
The mirror of illusions destroyed.
It leaves behind a lonely frame,
waiting to be filled as we choose.
Not the devils in black.
Not the angels with halos on their white clouds.
The mortals-we've been freed.
Hands up.The future's ours to hold.


Release through Termination

Stoke the fire,
tie the noose
around my throat-
I stand here dead,
walking numb.
Strike down if you must!
The whips cannot
penetrate my heart;
it's stone and strong.
With each flick,
with each spike of pain
I am released-
my soul escapes my weakened skin
piece by piece.
The uselessness of my body is not without:
it is the sacrifice
and my soul is
the true victor
in this holy war.


*****


Star Flowers

My oldest friend...
like a worn and fuzzy blanket,
with the familiar smell
of happiness of days gone by
like the field of dandelions
where you and I once had our dreams.
We felt the wind
and touched the secret language of the Ancients
and knew what they were saying,
that our young minds
would touch the skies
we used to gaze upon
and from our mound of dirt,
we become starstuff
in our own
ever-moving galaxy of Life:
separate,but connected.
We are the flower,burst into bloom,
that explodes and becomes the Star.


*****


Left(new and had odd experience with spirit)

The smell of old lace
and worn leather
where women were ladies
and gentlemen tipped their hats
have fallen to
the sight of empty tombstones
that are planted in my mind.
Do they know what they are?
Do they know what they do?
The power they have
to bring tears to our eyes?
WE cry out loud-
'where are you?'-
but from them,we receive no answer.
How long should we stay
at your grave,we wonder.
A look,a light caress-
even a cold touch-
to give us a sign
that you haven't left us.


*****


No Control

I peer over the side
of the neverending chasm
of my inner depression.
My nails graze the sides
as I attempt
to break my fall
and fail.
Who understands
the feeling of being held captive
by the heavy-laden chains of love?
Only to be woken up
with the ice-cold water of reality,
when you realize the flowers are dead,
the birds have gone to warmer climates,
and nature is sleeping.
I am spinning.
Help me before I lose control.


*****


Looking for a Face

I look for signs,
but cannot see them.
A face from the past
with a name that overlaps the faded waves of hair
that is now gray,
and I wonder
why she can see you,
but I cannot.
When all my friends
could talk to their fathers,
I was forced to look at me.
Where in my face
do you lie,dormant-
a silent voice that says
nothing-
as if I were nothing.
As though you had
never existed,but somehow do.
How long must I stare into a mirror
before I can see the eyes of my father?


*****


Evening Flame

Where were you
that I did not see
the beauty within
your soul?
How the light befalls
upon your fair face
and yet
your Goddess form seemed
to float
and I remained anchored to my chair.
The junoesque of your body
the warm arms
that comfort your children at night
bring words of adolation
from my soul to yours,
the lady with red hair.
Here the world is graced
to have you among us.


*****


Waterfalls on Babylon

The trickled tears
fall and pool
collected in my hands
cupped to catch
the memories
they fathom to hold
and remember.
I see
my haggard and saddened face
and wonder
how long ago did I
become old?
Was my youth
squandered among these
few lost tears?
Did my hair fall gray
to the worry that the future
holds perilous times for them,
they who are my children?
We must all grow and leave the cradle.


*****


Nightly Trances (Fireside Thoughts)

While staring home from my balcony,
I see the blazing fires afar,
far from my home
on top of the hill.
I stare at the glowing timbres,
entrance
as night's shadowy imps
made their meddlesome play.
I should be cold
but that fire
though but a distance away
warms my soul
as if I were but there
and not just in my mind.
To fear my ears on
the crackles of the wood,
to lose my worries in the smoke
and let the soul of the tree
cleanse me from outside my skin
to within my heart.


*****


Guiding Spirits

a tap-tap upon my shoulder-
I turn to see
but no one there.
this happens,oh, so often,
I've forgotten how many in the past,
but nightly curtains fall
to let spirits free
to tap my shoulder again.
In silence,they lead me
to an unseen path
that I've never seen before
but heard plenty about in my life.
I twist and turn,
a special gift in me,
the sense and the propriety
to be the person deep inside of me,
I take off the coat of deniability
and see the world is in need
of another set of hands
to keep her alive.


*****


In Memorandum of T.M.,N.D.,& C.K.

The true essence of friendship
means to never say goodbye,
to always hope for a bright tomorrow.
It means
to never cease
caring about
how special
you made us feel.
Of all the fingerprints
that have touched my heart,
yours are the most important.
All of my friends-
they shine like silver,
but your are gold.
How can I say goodbye
when words refuse to come through?
Why would I even want
to do that to you?
I can't do it.
I know;you didn't leave.


*****


Dreamer

Like Mother Nature,
the clever Goddess,
I held you within me
like a secret-
sweet to taste
and mine to hold,
though be it but for a brief time.
To see your face
and know things would be
the same yet different.
If you need my hand to hold,
don't ask;I'll give it to you freely.
If you need my thoughts
to any problem of mind,
don't hesitate,my daughter.
If in your eyes my acceptance
you desire but cannot beg for it,don't,then.
You are the dreamer;follow them.


*****


From an Oval Window

The earth hides her beauty-
hands that cover
the natural pink
that lies among the sand;
the health that is her.
In her abundant tan and taupe
give way to the
brief patches of ebony along
the moutain paths
that line her body whole.
The variety that is her eyes-
the tiny pools in that place:
a land of borrowed life.
Where on her celestial body,
man has become her snake,
we crawl and wander
about her
both carefully and carelessly.
We should not try to wake up
the mongoose within her.


*****


My Mother,My Goddess

The one with no name,
the first one we see,
with hands to hold us
when we stumble or fall.
Our first morning glory
to know of the first
true love
and most precious embrace
is the one person
who has grown with me-
her knowledge
etched in the small lines
along her face
to become my own as I age,
and still,
she stands
waivered but strong.
And so,I say:
the beauty that comes within
shines the brightest,and she shines well,
my mother;my Goddess.


*****


Emerald Tears

Lady,what's despair?
Lady whilst sit upon thy stand
and weep into thee's hands?
Yes,I know.I have seen.
The Gemini are gone,but alas-look!
To the heavens.
In the nightly sky,
the pair shine brightly.
Surrounded by
hundreds of new stars.
All bodies gone,
but yet live,they do still.
This chapter is over;another awaits
for the pen to hit parchment.
The wind stir and awake the author.
Cease all sorrows
and dry thine eyes.
We,the dreamers,wake to comfort
and stand by thee,Lady.


*****


What Happened?

Screams-
like goosebumps rising on a stripe of skin
blasted beyond words not heard-
what happened?
Gray snow gather on the ground
but this is no winter wonderland.
I open my ears
and hear chaos.
I see papers flying
like a ticket tape parade of demons
and bits of cloth,
and among them,a ratted and charred stuffed animal
lies still.
I close my eyes.
The skies echo with thunder,
but no rain follows.
Stop this rain.
Stop this wind.
Stop the infection,hate.


*****


My Lady,Disdain

How fair does thee,my Lady disdain
to use the reeds as your wedding train,
to know you'll lose youth's fruits someday;
how fair does thee,my Lady disdain?

Here comes at once,my Lady disgrace,
to purchase her lines for her lace,
as the tears wash away all the makeupn from her face,
by and by,my Lady disgrace.

See her float,my Lady Naivete,
her head in the clouds;her heart up a tree,
her eyes hiding behind a snickersnee,
as she catches the river,my Lady Naivete.

The dragon returns,my Lady Anger,
to fight the flames that keep me in danger,
if I but could to rearrange her,
but then she would not be Lady Anger.

You question this soliloquy
as to why I list these qualities,
but in time i am sure that you will agree
that they all live inside of me.


*****


Enchanted Night

Memories saving
past their due
to relish the desert sea
as I look to the sky-
bluebird's beauty surpasses none;
The buds of May spring but once a year,
but rememberances of
these satin pinks remain near
the impact of the picture
that hides behind my eyes
to be lifted to see
set in place,my disguise.
To hide out the sun?
No,nay-not that orb.
Spoken plainly,to heaven I see my discourse
to journey the plains walked by the one
to reveal the answers to questions absorbed
and I take root and bloom
living a life,by my choice.


*****


Madman's Kitchen

Joker,weave your magic
and stir the cauldron bright.
Cut the ribbon and the cord-
paint the package light blue.
Fill it with your jumping confetti,
the silver balls
that burst
to golden glitter.
I hide in shadows,
to conceal myself,
behind your pots and jam jars,
to see your work at play.
Your boisterous laught
lively and thrilling,
sends my senses reeling,
reeling to keep
from giving myself away.
Excitedly,I retreat to bed.
Tomorrow the fun begins
where you entreat the world to sit and grin.


*****


The Tiger

They never saw me,
hiding in the shadows,
slowly crawling to them.
I felt their pulse,
the way their eyes
could see,but not see,
and prepared myself to jump.
I fly the risk-
uncovered my claws
and screamed
the call of glory-
and dive to my prey,
to weave the spell of death
in a continuous life-giving dance
as the smell of blood
enthralls my senses,
tempts my teeth
to free my young
of the hunger
that torments us.


*****


Reflections at Sunrise

I stand upon this balcony amazed.
How old this city of tears is.
Yet the youth of this city shows upon this land
This land I was not borne of,
yet home is more here
than any other place I've been.
I'm a light,
The candle that shines in
the dark sky at night;
The sun is Father,
the moon my Mother,
And the souls I warm,
my sisters and brothers, the stars.
I step back, regretting the movement,
wishing to keep this morning moment,
to savor this sweetness one second longer.

The students will come naive,
and leave ready for war and death.
Convictions swelling, I cannot cry -
Few of them will remain standing,
and those who stay will see life for what it is:
fragile - as delicate as this pool of tears
shed for friends lost, love missing,
and the soul within this uncertain man
on a mission of peace.


*****


Messages from the Dark

All lights turned off
a small spark into a low glow
and I see
the smoke in the dark
rising to the sky
like a silent message
for those who see it.
The embers know
danger is nearby
so the tiny flame
makes itself known
by giving show to me
so that I may ward off
the evil spirit
that offends its light
till it leaves
and all is restored.


*****


Faith of Stars

Torture,
a strange word to use,yet its there.
It's all I feel about this lease on life.
How can I change time and history
to spend allmy days with you?I can't.
Every time I look at you,
I become breathless and feel
the mercy of angels
that love shines in your eyes for me.
How long ago was that night
you held me tenderly in a moment of doubt,
Under the crying sky?
Steadfast at my side,
the night's darkness frightens me no more.
To me,you are the calm lake
that fills me with life,
Yet I thirst to know you more.
The light of your heart,
the steel in your eyes,
and all your dreams that come in morning's light.


*****


Looking Within A Life

The sun is fading
on the last day of my life.
The hourglass is almost empty,
but it's not futile.
I travelled this road,knowing where I'd end up.
A sarcastic chuckle escapes me,that I knew.
But at what cost?
So much to lose,but so much to gain.
I look at my wife:
The appearance of a delicate snowflake,
but a warrior in silken robes.
The joyful thought of my son,tracing my steps,
becoming a man in his own right,
And the pain inside my heart at leaving them,
so intense to rip all three of us apart.
But it brings us together;no tears.
Relaxing,I release my last breath
and embrace the shimmering colors
of the fingerprints of all I have loved and lost
and how their being made my life better than it
would have been without them.

*****


***HAIKU***


*****


The tree is saddenend.
Youth and vitality gone.
It waits for the storm.


*****


Again, the crack breaks.
Her pain and anger breaks through.
She hides everywhere.


******


Birds in flight.
Touching the soul of the sky.
No fear and no limits.


Copyright 2001-2002 Madam Kitty


***********


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